With Trump constantly attempting to undermine journalists, it’s a bit infuriating when CNN drops a headline like, “Trump feeds fish, winds up pouring entire box of food into koi pond.” It makes it sound like Trump dopily dumped a huge box of food into the pond, while the audience laughed at him. But no, it turns out that the Japanese Prime Minister poured out his entire box of food into the pond first. Trump wasn’t being an idiot in this instance. So why on earth is CNN giving fuel to his whole “fake news” rant, over something petty and unimportant? Trump’s mouth is a goldmine for stupid comments. His lips move quicker than his synapses can fire, so it takes very little effort to find dumb gaffes.
Even during this trip, he had a few prize turds. The Japan Times reported that while on the phone with Southeast Asian leaders, he said he couldn’t understand why “a country of samurai warriors” didn’t shoot down North Korean missiles. It sounds like a bad, lazy SNL joke. Weirdly antiquated casual racism? A poor understanding of the delicate situation with North Korea and deadly ramifications of war? It’s premium, high-grade, weaponized stupid, surely enough to get our fix without resorting to deceptive headlines about koi food.
But if that’s not enough, how about when he clarified that Japan’s economy-wiener is smaller than America’s? After complimenting their economy, he backtracked, saying, “I don’t know if it’s as good as ours, I think not. Ok? And we’re going to try and keep it that way, but you’ll be second.” It appears the president just tried negging the entire country of Japan. Truth is stranger than fiction in our timeline, the darkest timeline. Maybe there’s an alternate reality where Trump actually did overfeed some koi fish, but he’s otherwise a pretty good guy. I want to live over there in the bloated koi fish universe.