What To Order At A Mexican Restaurant So You Don’t Get Fat

With Cinco de Drinko Mayo right around the corner, youre likely planning out your Friday night with things like tequila, margaritas, and platters of Mexican food. However, if you dont choose your dishes responsibly, you could gain three pounds and feel more stuffed than a fucking piata. This is obviously not ideal considering you’re a few weeks away from trying to squeeze into your stars and stripes bikini, so any extra bloat now is going to really fuck you up. Plus if you eat too much and then drink too much, you’ll probably end your night puking into the nearest sombrero, which is no bueno. Take our advice and choose responsibly from these not-terrible-for-you Mexican treats:

1. Fajitas

The number one choice when heading out for Mexican food? Fajitas. Veggie fajitas are best (fucking duh) with chicken, grilled shrimp, or steak coming in a close second. Why are they so fucking great? Because this shit is not assembled, meaning you can choose to skip the extra carbs like rice and beans AND even just nom on the meat and veggies solo, sans tortillas. Skip the sour cream and use all your salsa for an even healthier meal. We’ll even let you put guac on this.

2. Ceviche

Weve discussed the wonders of ceviche before, and if you can find it on the 10-page menu at your local Mexican hangout, order that shit stat. its literally just fish marinated in citrus with some veggies, so why WOULDNT you order it. Its like Mexican sushi.

3. Lettuce Tacos

Youve been doing it for years on your burgers (or you should be), so apply the lettuce wrap to your Mexican outing. Additionally, order them without cheese or sour cream. Up the ante, instead, on hot sauce and salsa which are much lower in calories and could boost your metabolismat least temporarily.

4. Street-Style Tacos

What do we mean when we say “street style”? Not that its full of Molly or is going to break out into a freestyle rap. Street-style tacos usually have a protein, grilled veggies, and salsa on one or two soft corn tortillas. That means the tortilla isnt fried, you dont have to deal with cheese or sour cream, and its overall healthier. If it comes on two corn tortillas, use one and cut some more calories. One or two of these street-style bad boys should be more than enough for your Mexican feast. Don’t lie, you know you always order three tacos and get full after two bites into your first one.

5. Flan

If you honestly need dessert, you fatass, opt for flan aka your grandmothers favorite gum-able food. It sounds disgusting when we describe it that way, so we might have saved you the calories outright. But if you do decide this dessert is for you, flan runs about 225 calories for a half cup and its literally just custard with caramel. Worth it, or you could always just order another drink and get your dessert calories that way.

6. Guacamole

If youre going to dip, guacamole is a good option (plus we knew you were never going to pass on the guac anyway). It isnt void of caloriesquite the fucking oppositeBUT it has a lot of good fats and minerals thatll help offset that hangover later. Be even healthier by swapping out chip dippers for cut up veggies. The restaurant staff will probably look at you strange and pretend to not understand you when you ask for veggies instead of tortilla chips, though, so realistically you might just have to take that L and eat the chips.

7. Vegetarian Burritos

If for some reason you need a burrito, opt for lean protein with minimal carbs. In other words, try to order a bean burrito, no rice, extra grilled veggies, no sour cream, lots of salsa. If it sounds like it’s not worth it at that point, you’re kinda rightdon’t say we didn’t warn you. But this sad vegetarian burrito is veggie and protein heavy, which will keep you full and less likely to black out later when youre celebrating Mexicos independence or whatever.

8. Water

Not really a dish specific to Mexico (S), but this is essential before you head out to El Burrito Fantastico. Chugging water like your life depends on it (because it kinda does) will offset a lot of the salt present in all of your favorite Mexican foods. Plus, itll fill you up so youre less likely to inhale several baskets of chips at the table, you pig.

9. Grilled Fish Tacos

Ask for any creamy sauce on the side, and grilled fish tacos are a stellar choice for your Mexican celebration. They will be lower calories than most any of the meat dishes; theres usually no cheese involved; and theres a nice bit of protein to act as a barrier for all that alcohol.

10. Black Beans

Its a side option you honestly dont need, but if you do, opt for these over refried. Why? Do you really have to ask why beans that have been fried zero times are better for you than beans that are fried not once, but TWICE? Okay. Refried beans are refried in lard, i.e. literal fat. Let that sink in(to your arteries). Pinto beans are a decent choice, too; just stay away from the lard option. SAY NO TO LARD.

So dont drown yourself in grande margaritas and waves of queso. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo responsibly, with delicious, lower calorie foods.

Source: http://www.betches.com/

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